‘The idea, they say, is to deemphasize tailgating by getting them into the stadium early. That should work like a charm. You get the drinkers into the stadium at 11 a.m. sharp to allow more time for family singalongs and trading football cards with their kids. Why didn’t I think of that? I’m tempted to question whether anyone associated with the idea has a marginal allotment of working brain cells. But I must assume the brainstorm has almost nothing to do with family atmosphere and almost everything to do with family revenue.’