‘Take an aspirin now. Swallow an ibuprofen and acetaminophen, too. Use two double shots of scotch to wash it down, and hit yourself in the head with a medium-weight hammer while you’re at it. Buffalo Bills fans should be preemptively numbing their minds: Professional headache generator Terrell Owens has chosen to inflict his remarkable personality upon their team this season, and 2009 can’t be over fast enough.’